I find myself going back to something God has put on my heart recently.
About a week ago at church, I took out my notebook and wrote:
“I am not prepared, but you will prepare me, God. When the time comes, You will lead me and speak through me. I am so grateful for Your presence. Thank you for Your guidance.”
These words didn’t fully make sense when I scribbled them down. But as I’ve experienced an unusual amount of doubt this past week I now understand the meaning.
As I drove home from church on a Sunday, a wave of doubt rushed over me. I asked myself so many questions like “how will I leave my home and my family for nine months?” “what if people don’t like me?” “how will I teach the Bible when I don’t feel confident in my biblical knowledge?”….and the questions kept coming. It caused me to feel anxious about leaving. Tears streamed down as I pondered over these thoughts. I hadn’t felt this strongly about leaving before. I’ve always been excited to leave and step out of my comfort zone. But the feeling of uncertainty was so prominent that morning.
I then said to myself “I’m not prepared God, but you will prepare me.” And at that moment, they were the most comforting words. It felt so peaceful to say. God was right, I’m not prepared at all. I’m not prepared for anything. I realized I couldn’t do the World Race alone. I realized I can’t do anything in my life on my own. I must depend on God to guide me through all aspects of life. He WILL lead me. He WILL speak through me. He WILL help me through any circumstances. And He will continue to remind me of these things.
This past week, I have had to whisper to myself multiple times that I am not prepared, but that God will prepare me. It’s been so comforting whenever I question uncontrollable factors of life. It’s as if a weight is being lifted off of me. This life is not in my control, it’s in the Lord’s control. I will not carry stress and doubt, because God will always be with me to give me peace and assurance.
So, thank you, Jesus. Thank you for Your comforting presence. Thank You for knowing what I need to hear and speaking it to me so clearly. Thank you for piecing life together to work out for the goodness and glory of You. And thank you for your everlasting peace. Your peace is like no other.
Abby, this is so true! Not only for you but for all of us. God bless you and keep you safe ??????
Abby, love your thoughts here. This is truth for a life time. Our confidence can never be in our preparedness, but always in an attitude of complete trust in Him to prepare and equip us as we walk in the path of His calling.
Wise words for a young lady. They comforted me right now as I read them. God never stops allowing those circumstances into our lives that cause us to realize (again and again) how much we need Him.