“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
I debated on what to write my next blog about. After picking a few topics and writing a few drafts, I always ended up deleting them. They didn’t sound right. I realized I was trying too hard to make my blog sound perfect rather than truthful. So here’s my hundredth attempt at making this blog, and hopefully my last.
I’ve decided to write about the anxiety I’ve dealt with these past couple of years, and how I’ve received amazing peace from God. Anxiety is something I’m sure a lot of people can relate to. It’s been an ongoing struggle of mine, and for the longest time I wasn’t sure how to fix it. My attempts at fixing it would consist of earthly things. By earthly things, I mean things that are temporary and unfulfilling that I thought would bring me ultimate joy and fulfillment. This continuous cycle of negative thoughts and temporary happiness was exhausting. It wasn’t until about a month ago that I received an answer to my prayers for peace.
Back in late July, my church put on a camp due to our original one being canceled. I specifically remember night two. It was a special night. One of our pastors was speaking about the difference between being strong and being free. At the end, he told anyone to stand up who needed to be freed from anything. I immediately stood up, as I had a lot of baggage I was carrying with me. Standing up in that moment felt freeing by itself, but my thoughts and anxiety didn’t suddenly disappear. It wasn’t until about a week after camp that I noticed the true and Godly peace I’d received from that night. Circumstances that would have normally made me crazy, suddenly didn’t affect me as deeply.
Now let me say, the peace I was given doesn’t mean my problems are gone forever and my mind is always crystal clear. It doesn’t mean that at all. Doubt, fear, jealousy, hopelessness, etc all still creep around, but they do not define me anymore. Gaining peace from the Holy Spirit taught me that I’m not a “crazy person” like I always used to refer to myself as. I have valid feelings that I can control and express in much healthier ways. Learning to have peace about circumstances that are in God’s hands is one of the most wonderful feelings. It’s something I’m so thankful for and will continue to be thankful for.
If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety, keep praying for peace. You may think your prayers are unheard, but they are heard. Trust that God is working right now. We all have our battles, and none of them are too big or too small for the King of kings.
